Trenton, NJ

Scott and Sharon picked us up in Philadelphia and drove us through New Jersey to Delaware. New Jersey was everything we expected and more. Beautiful Achitecture, friendly faces and fresh cool mountain air. We managed to get up the fire escape and on top of the state capitol building.

A trail of crime across America #2

In the garden state of New Jersey it is illegal to frown at a police officer. We applaud this law for obvious reasons of respect. After all, New Jersey’s state motto is: “I wouldn’t worry about it, just throw it in the river.”

Five out of six residents agree a true frown of distain should come with a stiff penalty. However, this law needs clarification. Below is a picture of Scotty frowning at a local police officer. This rebellious action landed Scotty a stiff penalty, but more importantly it put him on the soapbox to preach the true art form and precautionary measures of frowning.

Frown New Jersey police

But what about the other frowns, the beautiful frowns, the little known frowns which imply other emotions or feelings.

First is the frown of approval. This frown is closely related to the frown of a job well done and the frown of a hard days work. The differences come in the delivery. The frown of approval is delivered after a 4-6 second pondering session, followed by three slight nods of the head, a slight raise of the eyebrows combined with the frown. Many people choose to look from left to right at their colleagues to gain support and confidence in their decision to apply the frown of approval.

The frown of a job well done, known as the frown of a hard days work west of the Mississippi is delivered promptly with more force and determination. After the task is completed the frowner usually takes a step back, inspects the finished product and delivers. The delivery is abrupt, with one firm head nod, combined with the frown. Note: Crossing of the arms, or leaning on a shovel is recommended, but not mandatory.

The frown of authority came about during the days of prohibition and has been refined by law enforcement officers throughout the past century. The frown of authority is one of the few frowns that does not use any head nodding with the delivery. In fact, the delivery is quick and rarely seen. The frown of authority is usually waiting for you when coming across an authoritative figure. Often the subject has their back to the wall, with arms crossed, reflective sunglasses and a prominent moustache. The frown is static on the subject’s face and burns straight to ones soul. The frown’s hypnotic image stuns its victims for several seconds before the subject speaks or jumps into action. Be warned, this frown is not to be taken lightly.

This is an open plea to the state on New Jersey to clarify the law. Think of this as a public service announcement and use it as a platform to demand action. Please clarify your laws so residents can continue their legal frowns in confidence.

Dover, DE

I have a fear of Delaware. I really find Delaware a terrifying place, and for good reason, Delaware is crazy.

You could feel fear in the air as Scott and Sharon’s Saturn sped towards the Delaware state line. As we approached the First State I nervously began trembling, finding excuses to leave Delaware off the list of 50 states. I even proposed eliminating Delaware and adding Guam, or the Marshall Islands, but Fiddy would have none of it.

Scott and Sharon comforted me and made me confront my fears. They stopped at the state line to discuss our game plan. First on the list: welcome sign photos. This went okay, but in true Delaware fashion, it was too dark and scary for good quality photos.

Scared of Delaware

Welcome to Delaware

Next up was a stop at Wawa. Wawa is a gas station with a deli in it. That alone is terrifying. Forget the butcher, just stop by the local gas station for your meats. After quickly moving to the capitol building I was struck with the most terrifying scene imaginable. The capitol building is called the legislative hall. Risky exposure in the dark, wooded capitol area added to the tension as we frantically searched for the ‘capitol building’. Not until Sharon suggested looking at the map did we realize the name game Delaware is playing.

I found much comfort in the hospitality of our new hosts. Andrew and Amanda met us at the capitol building and took us back to their house. The recently married couple is stationed here, and live in off-base military housing. I’m relieved to know I have professionally trained combat personel in every direction to protect me. Maybe now, I’ll be ready to confront my fears.
Stay tuned…

Dover Air Force Base

Today Drew and Amanda took us on a tour of the Dover Air Force Base. It was amazing to see how big some of the planes actually are. They managed to get us into the isochronical inspection hanger to see a C-5 airdraft. We went inside the C-5; in the flight deck, down in the cargo bay and on top of the wings. This plane can hold 7 greyhound buses in it's cargo bay and from the top of the T-tail it's 6 stories to the ground. The fuel tank hold 300,000 pounds of fuel to power it's 4 massive engines. We took this video from way up there on the T-Tail at the back of the plane.